Ladies Drink Free

            A girl has all of her necessities in her purse. Lip-gloss, car keys, gum, phone, and her wallet with the credit card that she won’t be using tonight. It has been announced that “Ladies Drink Free”. Just like The Golden Corral, it’s an unlimited buffet! You take advantage of this opportunity and stuff yourself until you feel uncomfortable and have to unbutton your jeans since you just went up a few dress sizes. Or in this case until you can’t remember how the hell you woke up in the bathtub naked, with a stench of puke and cigarettes on your skin, and telling yourself that you won’t ever drink again.

            The bar or club promoting this exciting opportunity attracts girls from all over town! And you know what they say, wherever the women go, the men will follow. That’s how much power women have over men. Yet the girls come easy and forget that we can actually run their lives. And with alcohol taking over the brain, irrational decisions are going to be made. Of course the bar could care less about what happens to you at the end of the night. They don’t give a crap if the guy that bought you the drink put something in it and took you home for the night as their “Rape Date” without your consent. Or driving home at 3 in the morning and barely making it out alive in the massive car crash that you just caused from drunk driving. Making that irrational decision of unprotected sex that could give you an unwanted STD or putting you through 9 months weight gain.

But you are just having so much freaking fun! All of your problems have gone away! You can’t stop dancing to the music being blown through the speakers! It kind of feels as if the bass is in your veins and you can’t control yourself. It’s an emotional orgasm and soon you are going to explode. So when the sun comes up, and your high is low, everything is just as it was the day before. You are just now starting to realize that you lost your coach bag and you have no way of getting inside your house. You have to go through the hassle of canceling your credit cards, replacing your phone, getting a new set of keys made, and most likely going to the DMV and waiting hours just to replace your driver’s license so you can drink for free again next week.

This isn’t to tell you to not get pretty to go out with your girlfriends, and dance the night away to top 40 in your high heels that is cutting the circulation to your toes. Responsibility is the last of our worries on the nights like these. We can only really worry about ourselves since your girlfriend is at the bar talking to the hottie with massive biceps. It is possible to have your cosmopolitan and drink it too, just not past 2 of them. You might wake up with a new unwanted tattoo, a big dent on your car, or you might misplace those $60 that you are never going to see again. And as for the bar, just as long as they have sold their drinks to the men, and kept their place as the hot spot, they are going to keep making the announcement every Thursday night.

Coffee & A Haircut

         I was never the type to pick up books, more or less a reader. But after wondering off with my younger sister to Barnes and Noble, I found myself looking through photography books, art books, fashion books, and eventually ending up reading fascinating girly novels. After going so many times to Barnes and Noble, you start to realize all of the different faces. Nevertheless all of the familiar faces whom you would refer to as “The Regulars.” My ritual was walking past the New Releases, past “The Nook” stand, and straight up the 5 step stairs into the café where Starbucks coffee is proudly brewed. Order a tall black coffee with room to spare where I personally add in the half and half, with 2 packets of brown sugar. After the so-called fake baristas welcomed me back, I realized that I too have become one of “The Regulars.”

         I got to know most of the café workers and for the most part they were all fairly friendly. Especially to “The Regulars” since we were the ones striking up the conversations throughout their slow and quiet shift. All but one fake barista seemed happy to come to work. I always noticed his disappointment in his face as if he was telling humanity that they can suck it. He was easily a 100 pounds overweight. His droopy and sullen eyes looked as if he never got enough sleep at night. Every time he spoke I could hear his sarcastic and monotone voice always complaining about how the café should close earlier, or about how much he hates it when stacks of books are being left on the café tables. One can’t help but think why he hates this place so much.

If he hated it so much, why was he still working there? Why hasn’t he already been fired after learning about the multiple complaints that “The Regulars” have made to the store manager? Maybe he was left by his cheating wife and thought that there was no hope in humanity. Maybe his wife is actually a nagging bitch and he secretly hates her. And working at Barnes and Noble it’s just not enough money to be able to go through a divorce. He probably is just so drained and depressed about having a crappy sex life, since he probably doesn’t get any. For all we know he could be a hoarder and a prisoner in his own home with 15 cats and 10 birds comforting his loneliness.

But today there was something very eerie at Barnes and Noble. Something so weird and out of character that it even took me by surprise. I was sitting down at one of the café tables, creeping up on page 214 when I decided that I needed my coffee to compliment my reading of a fascinating book that I got stuck on. I left my book on the table and walked to the café hoping that my barista friend would take the order. Instead I was dreading the walk because the old grinch was actually going to take my order. The stars must have been aligned in some weird way in the sky this specific night because when I started to order my coffee, this old man was smiling. Following the smile he happily asked me “Did you get a haircut?! I remember you had very long hair!” My eyes blinked harshly once and stared at him wide-eyed. I actually had to think about the words coming out of his mouth. He could obviously see the disbelief in my face. Was he being sarcastic? This totally caught me off guard! Maybe he finally got laid after years of being rejected by his bitchy wife.

“Oh, Yea!” I exclaimed “It used to be a lot longer and I just kind of got tired of the same look so I cut it really short.” He didn’t stop smiling. He was admiring the haircut and admiring a decent conversation. This was it. He was going to say some slick and sarcastic comment. But he didn’t, it was just so genuine that I was aghast! “Well it looks very nice. So a tall black coffee for you tonight?” He said. “Yes, thank you” I replied in confusion. Did this just really happen? Was this man for once being nice? At that moment it didn’t matter what made his day. I just hoped that he would give this “friendly at work” thing a permanent trait of his since I am going to be seeing him next week.

I started my summer reading early

Je T'aime Paris

Parisian Love... Why do people go to Paris to find love? It could be a stressed relationship that needs a new beginning. Or where newlyweds go to start their marriage with unforgettable romance, and irresistible passion. Streets filled with tiny intimate cafes, artists in the streets softly gliding their hands with paint brushes, filling up their blank canvases with modern impressionism art. Fashionistas providing the streets of Paris with their own runway shows and a showcase of the new incredible styles of the season.

Paris is definitely a place of public affection where lovers walk hand in hand, and the occasional kiss or two is unquestionably a symbol of love. This is where most people wish they could go to find true love (well at least for me). I imagine looking up at the Eiffel Tower at night, glamorously illuminated, with an imaginary soundtrack in my head of french music as I fabulously walk down Champs Elysées arm in arm with my french lover. Hopefully this opportunity would happen for me.

Never mind the rude parisians that you've heard about. I could see why they would be rude to atrociously dressed intruders of abroad. Paris is the fashion capital of the world! How much more perfect can a city be with old antique buildings, never loosing the essence of their history, pain, and architecture! Never out with the old, and in with the new. This is how classic Paris can truly be. Classic like red lipstick, classic like Chanel, classic like Marylin Monroe.

Who wouldn't love to see themselves as Carrie Bradshaw on the season 6 finale, "An American Girl in Paris part une et part deux"? I seriously cannot wait to go to Paris to start a new chapter in my life of overpowering love that is close to impossible to have in Florida. Along with my luggage full of fashionable outfits, coats, and shoes and my maltese puppy Steve-O by my side, I will join the love of my life in Paris in a few months.

Retail Therapy

I don't know if this is a problem. All I know is the feeling of how exquisite a new dress drapes over my skin and flaunts my figure. Or how feminine and dangerous new high heels make me feel. How new earrings make my ears stand out with all the extra shine yelling out to the crowd "Hey, I'm shiny and I'm here!". If I had an endless bank account that would fund my shopping, I would totally shop everyday of my life. Can this actually be considered as a hobby?

So I started to think why I love this shopping so much. As I brainstormed this tornado, I slowly came to realize that this "Retail Therapy" could be a problem. I mean, I'm not a hoarder or anything weird like that! I actually give away a lot of my old clothes to friends and to charity to make room for all of my new clothes to fit into my drawers, closet, and hamper! I once heard that if you haven't worn something in over a year, most likely you are not ever going to use that clothing item. So out it goes, and out it went. But I still felt the need of more, more, and more.

Why? I am not obsessed with spending money! I'm actually scared to over spend. I don't splurge on $300 bags, and I don't ever really buy full priced shoes. Well, maybe sometimes. I mostly shop on the sales rack because I always like to feel like I'm getting my money's worth. I mean, I DO work hard for the money!

As I sit here typing this blog, I sigh at my pathetic self. I am a bit conceited, yet a bit insecure. I guess that was it. My insecurities make me do all the shopping. When I feel bad about myself the only thing that makes me feel better is buying that new dress. That new dress that was made specially for me. That last one in my size. I grab it excitedly knowing for sure that it's going to make me look like a million... no..... wait.... a billion bucks! Because I am worth so much more.

So there I am in the fitting room. One on one with that gorgeous dress staring at me with those puppy eyes, asking me as the chosen master to adopt it and take it home. I undress myself, delicately taking off the dress from the hanger as if it was made of glass. I unzip the dress, sliding it on to my body as it contours every angle and curve perfectly. I zip it up and a surprised feeling that has surpassed from the bottom of my stomach swells up to an excited gasp. It almost feels as if a natural radiant light shone behind me as I looked in the mirror. Of course I can't wait to wear it out and show it off to everyone since I'm always getting compliments about my looks, hair, and wardrobe. And that satisfies my ego. A couple of months would go by, and sadly the shine from the dress has been washed out with the dirty water from the washing machine. It has now become another dull particle of clothing in my closet. I have come to notice this hasn't happened with just one dress...... nor one shirt.... nor one jacket. I've always felt like I've won. But in reality, I've lost.

I've lost my money and the feeling I once had. This urge to satisfy my insecurity with new articles of clothing has been a repetitive ongoing process for years! I can't believe that I actually know I have a problem yet I can't seem to stop. It's my cocaine. So, if you find me in the mall with a couple of bags, I hope that you don't remember that I am actually shopping my sorrows, insecurities, and depression away.

Long Distance Relationships

Well if you ask me, Long distance relationships have a reputation of not working out, and very few chances of it working out. I must admit that it is extremely hard to keep this kind of relationship fresh, constant, and active. In my opinion, if a couple can make it through the distance then they are meant to be and SHOULD be rewarded for their self mutilation. Annnddddd.... when it doesn't work out it is because one of the partners (or both) is most likely one of the following people (in MY opinion).

The Imaginative One: The one constantly calls, and when he/she can't get a hold of their partner, they would make up crazy stories in their heads of why they aren't answering the phone. Also the one that imagines the worst case scenario. They tend to be on edge, a hint of bipolar, maybe a little psycho. They want to be on the phone 24/7 even when you are in the shower and don't really have anything to talk about. They most likely do this because they don't want to imagine any more crazy scenarios of you cheating on them, or getting into a car crash.

The Silent One: The one that would barely talk to you about how their day has gone. He or she is usually boring to have conversations with and they are not very open about their feelings. When their partner does something that they don't like, they just keep it inside. And in a way that is not being totally honest with the other. This is also the one that doesn't have good communication with their significant other. So therefore situations and problems will be hard to be fixed when broken.

The Selfish One: Then there is the worst of the worst. The selfish one. Now, this person doesn't give a flying fuck about anything or anyone. In their minds it is all about "ME, ME, ME, ME!!" They will cheat, lie, and steal to get what they want. They don't care if they hurt other's feelings, break their hearts, or lie right in front of their face. Yet they don't want these situations to happen to them. They are a roller coaster, a one person circus! So now they just have to go. You have been warned

But you know there are a few small cases where long distance relationships work. Just as long as you have communication and honesty then all is good. It can be very hard not remembering what a kiss feels like. Or what holding their hand made you feel at that moment. Skype isn't the same as seeing someone face to face. Arguments can be difficult to solve and it can get pretty lonely sometimes.

All I can say is to keep positivity in your relationship and that should be a big help. Also trying to make future plans with each other is a big help. Because without seeing that person in your future most likely there will be no future. Don't put yourself in situations where you know something is going to go wrong.

For example, she might love to go out and have a girl's night out. Dancing the night away with a disco ball above her. Hypnotizing her into a club trance. Of course every woman loves the feeling of being wanted, that is why we love getting comments about our looks from other people. But some do take it too far and start to flirt with other men. She might not want this other guy, she has boyfriend but far away. So she dances while drinking her drink, giving him the eye, and the next thing you know she is making out with this stranger that is probably only good looking because of the alcohol that she has consumed. Fuck, she made a mistake. So now what is the best thing to do. Blame it on the alcohol.... but either way, it's wrong.

So you see? Don't put yourself into this situation. Same thing for men! Putting yourself into these situations, knowing that self-control is limited, most likely it will all end in a war. Why even do that to your significant other.

Well in the end all you have is each other. So if you want to make your relationship work out, sacrifices will have to be made. If it was that easy then everyone would be able to do it. Just remember that long distance relationships are a wonderful thing if you want it to be. It CAN work out if you want it to

:)

Rainbow road

Wouldn't it be wonderful if roads were a rainbow, with multicolored lanes taking us safely to our destinations? Everyone driving safely and respecting the speed limit, giving others the right of way. Everyone greeting, nodding, and waving to each other happily as we pass each other? Well that can only exist in a Disney fairytale. In reality, roads are a war zone, with worn out, cement paved roads, drivers weaving in and out of traffic, speeders flying past you if you are not driving at their convenience. Once they pull up next to you, they flick you off with their middle finger. Lovely, lovely citizens of Florida.

I'm not going to lie and say that I've never done that before. I am also guilty of road rage and not driving safely. But are we going a little over board with us not being patient and caring for others? In December of 2008, I was driving a car that belonged to my boss when suddenly I see that car in front of me aggressively coming to a halt. I almost didn't make it but I safely came to a stop. Not knowing what was about to happen, In a split second, I suddenly felt something massive pushing me into the car in front of me. All because the person that was two cars up decided to make an illegal u-turn causing a 3 car collision. Of course that asshole ran from the scene of the accident and went on about his selfish life.

Haven't you ever wondered if you ever accidentally made a situation like this happen to others? All because of impatience and pure selfishness? Maybe texting and driving? Did you know that a car crash can happen in a fraction of a second? Even today I almost ran a red light because I was looking up a contact on my phone. It just seems like it's so easy for something to go wrong and sadly it's true but we need to be responsible for our actions. A car is a weapon and if you use it the wrong way you will be prosecuted even if it is an accident. I know it's hard since we live on this "give me everything right now" world. And frankly we don't have the time to actually even make a real meal at home. So we rush. Rush because we don't have the time, and so we rush to work, rush to do our errands, and rush down the road.

So what is our solution? Just give yourself time, be patient, think of others, and think of the consequences. Because any little decision can change your life.

Xoxo Paula

McD's worker... that's a no

Once upon a Wednesday, I just couldn't believe that in the middle of a busy week I was basically harassed and violated at McDonald's. (Note to everyone, I was not on the drive-thru for me). So there I was, fabulously dressed in black footed leggings, a black dress, a red and black peacoat, and matching red flats with gold plated decor. My hair carefully teased to perfection held by a yellow Truly Glamorous Headband drenched in Swarovski crystals. When I pull up to the 2nd window to grab the food, I was sitting patiently in my Mercedes-Benz, putting away my Juicy Couture wallet when i heard a rancid sound.

Pssttttt, ppsssttttt, pssssssssttttt.... I ignored it. I didn't want to look. I could already imagine the annoying low-life that wanted my attention. Pssttttt, ppsssttttt, pssssssssttttt.... I heard it again. I took a deep angered breath, softly clenching my teeth, and I slowly turned my head to my left. There he was, a McDonald's worker putting burgers and fries into a paper bag while staring at me, giving that so-called sexy eye look, that other brainless girls have obviously fell for before. My eyes squinted as if they have been burned in acid. I immediately looked forward. I couldn't help but to give this futile man a nasty look. I could see him from the corner of my eye still smiling at me. Probably hoping for me to give out my number..... That was it.....

Now, seriously? What type of clown hisses at a girl to get her attention? Not only that, but he was trying to "holler" at girls in his own work time. How desperate. I'm more than sure that I wasn't the only girl he did that to. Obviously it worked for him before so he wanted to see if anymore senseless girls would fall into his trap. His phone's address book filled with numbers of girls he met at McDonald's, I'm sure. Calling them only for a fuck. Ewww... if it is that easy for these girls to get with a man like that, they have probably been around the block a few times. And so there is a higher chance of an STD's flowing around these heavily sexual used people. Men that are looking for real love and for their future wife DON'T hiss at girls at a McDonald's drive-thru.

And I'm not trying to be a bitch, but seriously? Why would a girl like me want to get with a useless low-life like him? Didn't he physically see that a girl like me would never want to be with a man like that? He just needs to stay in his field of girls and not go out of his league. I seriously hope that his was a burn to his cocky self-esteem. I will take my European man with a side of respect thank you very much!

What do American Girls Like?

So the other night I was doing a little research online when I came across this website where they talked about what American girls like. My 1st reaction was laughter. I couldn't stop reading the perfectly designed list of examples that I could relate to as my everyday thinking. And if it wasn't me, it was definitely one of my friends. Have they really figured us out? Do they really think that we are these absent minded vast and shallow people?

The 1st example of what an average American girl like is "#1 Themed Parties" and it quotes, "A perfect opportunity to demonstrate creativity and uniqueness, but most of all some skin. Especially for Halloween. Preparation process is at least as valuable as the party itself". This sounded all so familiar and so true because I have definitely been there. So i searched through my tiny pink filing cabinets of my thoughts. Of course! How can i forget... my favorite movie! Mean girls, and they quote "In Girl World, Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girl can say anything about it"

Cast of Mean Girls in their Halloween outfits

Me in my halloween outfit

As I read down the list another one that caught my attention was shoes, preferably Manolo Blahnik to be like Carrie Bradshaw. And if you don't know who Carrie Bradshaw is, then you are automatically disliked just a tiny bit because omg, HOW can you not watch Sex & The City? See how this all ties in together? And yes I will say it again, this is what the people outside of American Life see us as. But you know what. I will not allow myself to be labeled under anything. I CAN relate to some of these things on this list, I do have gay friends, I do love shoes, I do love singing, ugg boots, new dresses, going to the bathroom in groups, and New York City. But it doesn't make me like the girl next door. I have my own activities and I have so many talents that most of these girls can't do. Just like on my last blog, I an not a cookie cutter persona that will be molded into what society wants me to be. I enjoy things in my own personal matter with my friend and family. And to those "American Girls", I'm just happy for them to be that cookie cutter because then I wouldn't stand out. And I do. I am not that fake pretty that "American Boys" like. I am that strangely beautiful girl that you don't know why I seem to be so attractive. I am not part of a norm and I hope that you (my reader) will realize it too.

Here is the full list http://girls.yury.name/

Weight does NOT have to be an issue

So a couple of months ago my sister and I started to go to Barnes & Noble for fun and coffee and we made it a weekly thing. I got caught up reading a book about Crystal Renn and her story of how she became a plus sized model. Actually I don't even like reading books! I'm just the type to look at pictures and get inspired for all my different projects going on in my head. But this one definitely caught my attention since it was about eating disorders and fashion. I could relate to both. It was the 1st book I read from cover to cover since high school (7 years ago) and i must say that it changed my mind about many things.

This book taught me to love my body the way that it is and that real women like me are beautiful. We don't have to follow this so called cookie cutter pattern of what beautiful women should be. I mean seriously, if a man wants to date a woman with a small frame, no curves, and bones, then they can date a boy. Anyways, I fell in love with Crystal Renn and a part of me wanted to be more like her. She was not the norm. There is just something so sensual about the way she posed in her pictures, and she seemed extremely happy after her dark (thin) era.

Ever heard anyone say that fat people are jolly, and happier than skinny people? In a way it is true if you think about it! Santa claus is fat and jolly! And you know that chubby grandmother that always bakes cookies and makes yummy cupcakes? Yeaaa she is always happy too! Food makes them happy so why can't it make YOU happy?

Then there are your thin mean people. When Meryl Streep portrayed that mean woman that everyone disliked in 'The Devil Wears Prada' umm yea she was a real bitch! It was probably because she needed a little sugar in her diet to make her see the light. That selfish thin friend of yours that loves to get men's attention by her looks? Yea I'm sure she doesn't eat brownies either. And for some reason they just feel like they gotta share their looks with the world! So forget about most of them being faithful! LOL.... Except for my BFF, she is a fatty trapped in a model body. Seriously, she eats more than I do and never gains a pound. Well even people like my BFF are happy because they eat brownies! They are just lucky that they can't gain a pound!

I know I'm not the smallest girl, and weight has always been an issue, or topic, or a thought in my everyday life. It kind of sucks because it is a never ending dilemma. I really just want to sing and perform and inspire people in a positive way. Something that many artists today aren't doing to our pop culture. But I want everyone to know that no one is perfect and you can be happy starting today. Just look at all the positive things about yourself and things that you have accomplished as a person. I can be negative too at times but it is just a phase. I want to design, I want to sing, I want to be on stage, I want to model and be everything that a so called 'thin' person can do. And I know I can. I will be another woman making a change in this world for a positive effect. I do want to be thinner but not because it will make the world happier. I want to do it for me and for my comfort. I don't want to be a size 2 either.

Here is me before and after losing 30lbs. Not 'model' skinny but 'BEAUTIFUL' thin

Besides... why would you want to be the one with a 'HOT' body? Men just want to sleep with you and fool around. I rather be 'BEAUTIFUL' and be the one that men want to fall in love with :)

My inspiration, the beautiful Crystal Renn

Her famous ad

New Year's Resolution

It's better late than never I say. It's January 3rd and I'm only a couple of days behind but I'm here. I'm also coming down with a cold. What a great way to start the year! So many things yet still not enough things have happened this past year in 2009. My BFF/partner were able to get our accessory line "Truly Glamorous" into a store called "Tresors of Naples" a couple of months ago, I had an amazing trip to NY during the Fall with a few friends, I've become obsessed with vegetarian sushi rolls, and I have yet to see the man that took my heart to Paris with him. I think it's been about a year and 4 months.

I just turned 24 January 1st. I had a wonderful birthday dinner with way too many people for me to handle. I'm never doing that again! I think next time I'm going to have to split this into 3 and have a birthday breakfast, birthday lunch, and birthday dinner. I felt so bad that I wasn't able to spend time with everyone at the table. I could tell that some of my friends got a bit bored. Others went missing and never showed up, or texted to say that they couldn't make it. I wasn't upset, it just showed me their real personalities and what is important. And on top of that I think the waiter hated our party of 25+ and told us that we still owed him $20 more. Counted the money 3 times before we handed it to him. It was correct, and he was wrong. By the way, yeaaa I made my own birthday cake! Not only did it look fabulous, but it tasted YUMMYYYY!!!!

Ok, so I definitely went wayyyy out of what I really wanted to talk about which was a New Year's Resolution. Hmmm... there are just so many things I want to do and accomplish. Of course the cliche NYR of

*My goal weight

*Getting Truly Glamorous into a 2nd store

*Visiting NYC

*Paris

*Write more songs and perform more than 2009

Yea, so that is all I can really think about for now. Well I think I'm going to go blow my nose into a kleenex. Oh yea, look at these pics too!

Me and my amazing birthday cake!

A picture from the NY trip. Yeaaa i think i definitely looked like a real New Yorker

And some deliciously weird cookies that my BFF and I made for late night movies