So a couple of months ago my sister and I started to go to Barnes & Noble for fun and coffee and we made it a weekly thing. I got caught up reading a book about Crystal Renn and her story of how she became a plus sized model. Actually I don't even like reading books! I'm just the type to look at pictures and get inspired for all my different projects going on in my head. But this one definitely caught my attention since it was about eating disorders and fashion. I could relate to both. It was the 1st book I read from cover to cover since high school (7 years ago) and i must say that it changed my mind about many things.
This book taught me to love my body the way that it is and that real women like me are beautiful. We don't have to follow this so called cookie cutter pattern of what beautiful women should be. I mean seriously, if a man wants to date a woman with a small frame, no curves, and bones, then they can date a boy. Anyways, I fell in love with Crystal Renn and a part of me wanted to be more like her. She was not the norm. There is just something so sensual about the way she posed in her pictures, and she seemed extremely happy after her dark (thin) era.
Ever heard anyone say that fat people are jolly, and happier than skinny people? In a way it is true if you think about it! Santa claus is fat and jolly! And you know that chubby grandmother that always bakes cookies and makes yummy cupcakes? Yeaaa she is always happy too! Food makes them happy so why can't it make YOU happy?
Then there are your thin mean people. When Meryl Streep portrayed that mean woman that everyone disliked in 'The Devil Wears Prada' umm yea she was a real bitch! It was probably because she needed a little sugar in her diet to make her see the light. That selfish thin friend of yours that loves to get men's attention by her looks? Yea I'm sure she doesn't eat brownies either. And for some reason they just feel like they gotta share their looks with the world! So forget about most of them being faithful! LOL.... Except for my BFF, she is a fatty trapped in a model body. Seriously, she eats more than I do and never gains a pound. Well even people like my BFF are happy because they eat brownies! They are just lucky that they can't gain a pound!
I know I'm not the smallest girl, and weight has always been an issue, or topic, or a thought in my everyday life. It kind of sucks because it is a never ending dilemma. I really just want to sing and perform and inspire people in a positive way. Something that many artists today aren't doing to our pop culture. But I want everyone to know that no one is perfect and you can be happy starting today. Just look at all the positive things about yourself and things that you have accomplished as a person. I can be negative too at times but it is just a phase. I want to design, I want to sing, I want to be on stage, I want to model and be everything that a so called 'thin' person can do. And I know I can. I will be another woman making a change in this world for a positive effect. I do want to be thinner but not because it will make the world happier. I want to do it for me and for my comfort. I don't want to be a size 2 either.
Here is me before and after losing 30lbs. Not 'model' skinny but 'BEAUTIFUL' thin
Besides... why would you want to be the one with a 'HOT' body? Men just want to sleep with you and fool around. I rather be 'BEAUTIFUL' and be the one that men want to fall in love with :)
My inspiration, the beautiful Crystal Renn
Her famous ad
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